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American
-
Actor
November 4
, 1879-
August 15
, 1935
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
Will Rogers
Prayer
I Can
About
Say
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Will Rogers
You
Government
Being
Trick
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Will Rogers
You
Way
Parrot
Live
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Will Rogers
People
Laugh
Never
Cry
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Will Rogers
Education
Only
Ignorant
Different
Find Will Rogers on Amazon
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
Will Rogers
Go
Like
Things
Said
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers
Politics
Government
Facts
Just
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
Will Rogers
Art
You
Rock
Diplomacy
Nice
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
Will Rogers
Good
Business
Guess
Economist
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
Will Rogers
Man
Business
You
He
Top 10
Will Rogers
Quotes
View the list
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
Will Rogers
Business
You
Enough
Big
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
Will Rogers
Never
Used
Schools
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
Will Rogers
Man
You
Stupid
Nothing
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
Will Rogers
Education
Ignorance
America
Will
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
Will Rogers
Ignorance
Know
Just
Read
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Will Rogers
Life
Good
You
Here
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
Will Rogers
Day
Newspaper
Only
About
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.
Will Rogers
You
Than
Other
Mass
In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.
Will Rogers
You
Time
Day
Night
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
Will Rogers
Turn
College
He
Until
One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
Will Rogers
More
Worth
Paper
Than
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.
Will Rogers
People
Other
United States
United
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
Will Rogers
Money
Product
Advertising
Same
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
Will Rogers
Country
Needs
Cleaner
Minds
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
Will Rogers
Father
Us
Seeing
Calling
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
Will Rogers
Work
Education
You
Think
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